a-little-nonsense-now-and-then

the-average-gatsby:

alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

brace yourselves

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first…

a-little-nonsense-now-and-then

classy-casbutt:

king-in-yellow:

hopephd:

Seizure First Aid. 

Learn it. Share it. Know it. Use it. 

100% correct medical information on tumblr for once; also consider calling 911 if you don’t know how often the person has seizures and ESPECIALLY if the seizure has lasted 5 minutes or more (which is why the watch is critical)

100,000% true, ESPECIALLY: Do not try to restrain them. you could both get hurt, as in break limbs, get serious injuries, and trauma. A person who is seizing is not going to hold back. They are not aware of who you are or what damage they’re causing.

we-are-star-stuff
thedragoninmygarage:

To understand the age and evolution of the Universe and where humans fit into it, imagine that the entire history of the Universe is compressed into one year, with the Big Bang occurring on the first second of 1 January, and today being the last second of 31 December. If we imagine the Universe as a single year, each month equals around a billion years, which means the cosmic microwave background radiation remnant formed in January. Our Galaxy formed around 1 May, the solar system around 9 September, and Earth around 14 September. The first signs of life on Earth appeared around 25 September. Dinosaurs appeared on 24 December but by 29 December they became extinct. All recorded human history takes place on 31 December, most of which from the first cave paintings discovered in Europe to the present day occurred in the final minute.
Credit: Adapted from ‘Cosmic Calendar’ by Carl Sagan

thedragoninmygarage:

To understand the age and evolution of the Universe and where humans fit into it, imagine that the entire history of the Universe is compressed into one year, with the Big Bang occurring on the first second of 1 January, and today being the last second of 31 December. If we imagine the Universe as a single year, each month equals around a billion years, which means the cosmic microwave background radiation remnant formed in January. Our Galaxy formed around 1 May, the solar system around 9 September, and Earth around 14 September. The first signs of life on Earth appeared around 25 September. Dinosaurs appeared on 24 December but by 29 December they became extinct. All recorded human history takes place on 31 December, most of which from the first cave paintings discovered in Europe to the present day occurred in the final minute.

Credit: Adapted from ‘Cosmic Calendar’ by Carl Sagan

infroggysworld
  • me talking to little kids: oh hey man wow I like your shoes they light up! No way I wish I had some like that, I bet they make you run so fast!!
  • me talking to older people: I'm not really sure what it is I want to do with my life, but I figure that as long as I'm happy it can't be that bad
  • me talking to people my age: well howdily doodily my fellow young people, what's hip hop happening over here? I'm just off to inject a meth and listen to an MTV if you youngsters are 'down' also haha look at that lingo, golly gosh what a time to be alive